If you have experienced a highly distressing event or series of events (such as witnessed a death, been involved in serious accident, victimized, assualted or lived through a pandemic) you have experienced a traumatic event. You might be experiencing overwhelming feelings of helplessness, horror, guilt, anger, confusion and irritability. It is common to feel overwhelmed by emotions, and reoccuring thoughts. It is also common to experience a variety of physical symptoms such as naseau, random body pain, headaches, and fatigue. Many people feel like their emotions are all over the place and may even feel like they are are crazy.

Please remind yourself that you have experienced something terrible and your brain is overloaded. Even if you have lived through the very same event as someone else, you may process it and experience it differently than others. Some people might stuff their feelings and be very logical about it, others might be highly emotional. Some might act like nothing happened at all. These differences in responses can even cause some friction in relationships. Traumatic events rock our sense of safety in the world. Our brains become hypersensitive to potential dangers. Know that your mind and body are going through alot right now and there might be some tough days ahead.

These are some ways you can help yourself get through the days immediately following a traumatic event.

1. Take Care of Your Sleep.

Often, in the acute stages following a traumatic event, quality, resorative sleep can be hard to come by. Sleep can be interrupted by bad dreams, insomnia, heightened emotionality and an imbalance of serotonin. Mood and mental health can deteriorate very quickly when our sleep is of poor quality and quantity.

In the short term, do what you have to do when it comes to sleep. Don’t worry about all the “rules” you might have for yourself and try not to worry about offending others. If you think you will sleep better if you sleep alone – do that. Maybe you need to let your dog on the bed when you normally wouldn’t.

The key here is that you have to FEEL SAFE in order to sleep. This could mean a variety of things. It could mean that you suddnely want a night light on for extra security. Maybe you feel more secure sleeping during the day rather than the night. Maybe you want to have a friend sleep over. Sometimes adults feel inclined to sleep at their parent’s house. Teenagers might want to camp out in their parents room for a few nights. For some, their sleep is disrupted so badly that they may need sleeping aides. If it comes to that, talk to your pharmacist or physcian. It is not uncommon to have unusual sleeping arrangements and schedules for awhile. That is okay, you can worry about fixing that later. Your priority right now will be to protect your sleep.

For more on sleep, check out our other blog posts at this link.

2. Engage in Self Care, particularly, Exercise.

Self care looks different to different people. If you know what works for you, start building that purposely into your routine, even if you think you don’t need it right now. Also when you are feeling good make a list of all the things that typically work for you. It will be handy to reference this when you are overwhelmed and can’t think of anything to do. It also might be handy for others to have this list to know how to help you. Be aware that you might suddendly feel guilty or shameful engaging in activities that bring you joy. You might also find that you are not enjoying your goto activities right now. That’s okay.

If you are not used to engaging in self care, you might want to think back to coping strategies that got you through a tough time in the past. Was prayer, religious or cultural events. Maybe it was painting, sports or music. Perhaps being in nature or exercise helped. Maybe it was hanging out with a pet. What has worked in the past, is a great place to start, even if you havent done it since you were a kid, even if it feels silly.

It is worth noting here that some people find yoga and/ or mindfullness exercises quite helpful to cope with stress. Don’t be alarmed if you find these practices very uncomfortable right now. We store trauma in our body and sometimes the body awareness and quietness of mediating and yoga can be triggering and counter productive. Don’t force things. If you’re tired or triggered it’s OK to rest. If you laugh and feel joy, that is okay too.

For more ideas of how to practice self-care, consider checking out more at this link.

3. Re-establish Routines and Schedules

Your regular routines and schedules can be interrupted by a traumatic event. Once you have given yourself some time and grace, it will eventually be helpful to re-implement your regular routines. If you don’t have outside expectations like work or school forcing schedules on you, you will want to implement routines for yourself. Start small, this could mean going to bed and getting up at the same time. It might mean scheduling walks, meals, and small chores. Some structure to our day helps our mental health, gives us a sense of control and will help get our sleep back in order.

4. Post-Pone Big Decisions

Sometimes when a traumatic event happens we are faced with big decisions. Some people may feel like they need to move, end relationships, or make large financial decisions around the time of a traumatic event. If at all possible, it is advisable to avoid making major decisions or big life changes until you feel better and your world has settled down. We rarely make the best decisions when we are overwhelmed, highly emotional, avoiding and traumatized. The emotional centers of our brain are in overdrive while our ability to think and process information can be rather debilitated in the days and weeks following a traumatic event. Start by making little decisions. You might find that deciding what to eat for lunch feels like a gigantic, impossible decision. Give yourself some grace and do what you can to post-pone those big decisions.

5. Spend Time With Others

It is quite natural for people to isolate themselves after a traumatic event. It might be difficult to find that blance between needing alone time, throwing yourself back into the world to avoid processing. You might need more alone time than usual, but try to avoid isolating yourself. You might want to keep your socializing to smaller groups and with people you know and trust. Often it is helpful to have “an escape plan”. Meaning if you have to leave suddenly, you can escape to quiet space to ground yourself. You may also want an escape plan that woud allow you to leave an event entirely. Don’t feel as though you have to be a social butterfly or even engage in social situation like you usually do. There doesn’t even have to be conversation, just having someone in your vicinity can be helpful and comforting.

6. Avoid Alcohol

It is common for people to want to drink alcohol following a traumatic event. If you are socializing, it may be avialbe to you -and even pushed on you. Often, people seek alcohol because they think it will help them sleep or “take the edge off”. Maybe you want to drink in order to forget or to tame the triggers and flash backs. Alcohol is a depressant, so it seems to do good job of numbing feelings and causing drowsiness initially. The problem is that alcohol works in deceptive ways in the beginnning. If might FEEL effective, but alcohol actually has a negative impact on sleep quality and it can create unhealthy habits when it comes to numbing feelings. If you can avoid alcohol (an other substances) in the early days, you are going to much better off in the long run.

7. Talk About It.

You might feel as though people don’t want to hear about the event. Maybe you feel like no body will understand what you are going through. Often people feel like they don’t want to burden others or that they might bring up pain for others. It is often the case that others are relieved to talk about it too.

Especially if others have had the same experience, TALK to THEM. Being able to talk to one another allows you to watch out for one another and check in with eachother. They may be having some of the same feelings that you are. Open the lines of communication as soon as possible after your traumatic event. It’s an important part of your recovery. When people have experienced a trauma together, they can become “trauma bonded”, which can be a positive experience in the long run. If lives were lost in your traumatic event, use the names of the people who have passed. Try not to let the traumatic event become a taboo subject.

Know that there are some people who can not hold space for you and your trauma. You will likely feel this and notice this in their body language. Don’t take this personally. Your trauma might be triggering them or their past trauma. Maybe they can not yet tolerate their own thoughts and feelings. Find your people and pre-plan your ability to reach out to them when needed- even if happens to be in the middle of the night. Some find it helpful to make a list of people and resources in their phone so that when they are needing support, they have several options and you don’t have to go searching for contacts. Crisis lines can be on your list too.

8. Be Aware of Your Thoughts and Feelings.

In the days following a traumatic event, people often experience a wide range of thoughts, feelings emotions and body sensations. The thoughts and feelings can even be contradictory to one another and difficult to sort out. It is common for the emotions to be intense and unpredictable. A song or a smell could have you sobbing at a moments notice. Some people condemn themselves and feel out of control when they catch themselves being irritable, angry or even aggressive.

In order to wade through the mess of emotion it will be important to first identify emotions and figure out if it shows up physiologically, in your mood or by way of thoughts. Here is a hint, it often shows up in all 3 ways. Once you have some awareness, you can then begin to articulate it and process it. Journally often helps with this, but not always. How your create this awareness is unique to everyone. The trick is, you have to stop avoiding in order to process this all. It will be uncomfortable, but it will be worth it.

Just notice what is happening for you physiologically, emotionally and with your thoughts. If you get triggered, its okay. If you feel a moment of peace that is awesome. Both are really good peices of information for you to utilize later.

9. Avoid Avoiding

When people have experienced a traumatic event it is common for them to start avoiding things, places, sensations, thoughts and even people that increase their distress. These can be tangible things in your environment such as avoiding an intersection where a car accident occurred, or avoid driving altogether. You might notice that you avoid thinking about certain events or activities that remind you of the trauma. It is common for people to get triggered by very discreet sensations that were present during the trauma (certain sounds, smells, body temperatures, visions). If you aren’t aware, this could feel like panic coming out of the blue.

Sensitive people will want to avoid their own feelings and pour themsleves into caring for everyone else. That is okay too, as long as you are aware of what you are doing. Remember, you can’t give from an empty cup and eventually you will also have to take care of you.

As tempting as it may be to escape, avoid, ignore or forget a traumatic event, a key factor in recovery is learning to be OK with your memories and be able to tolerate the triggers. Being able to feel your feelings, untangle them, and name them will be an important part of taking care of yourself and coping well.

10. Listen to Your Body

Your body, mind and heart will tell you what to do to heal. Sometimes you will need a period of time to just put one foot infront of the other and not deal with process of healing. That is okay too. Just be aware that you are doing this and ensure you make time later to process it all.

Ultimately, in the early stages it is appropriate to just focus on the basics of living. Eat healthy meals. Rest when you get a chance. Do things that make you happy. Take a bath. Read. Play with a pet. Do something with friends. Partake in exercise. Get some sunshine your face. Watch a ballgame. Go to a play. Whatever makes you feel good, take the time to take care of yourself and give your self grace when you see symptoms arise.

When to Seek More Help.

The stress and distress that comes following a traumatic event can be crippling. Sadness, fear, grief, guilt, axiety and depression can take hold and overwhelm our ability to cope. Remember our brains and bodies are GOING to react to Trauma. It would be worrisome if you had no reaction. There is no shame in struggling with a traumatic event. How you manage this is not a reflection of you. Only YOU are going to know what works for you and it is only YOU who is going to know if what you are doing is working or not.

There is no timeline for healing from a traumatic event. However, if you are struggling to engage in your life after about 1 month, it is worthwhile to seek the support of a psychologist or counsellor who is trained in Trauma.

More Online Resources

It is a good idea to inform your family doctor of your struggles. They can help to monitor your symptoms, and help determine if you would benefit from counselling or medication.

Dealing with Trauma – A Guide for Young People who have Experienced Tauma

Helping my Children after Trauma – A Guide for Parents and Caregivers

Harry and the Storm

Phoenix Austrailia

Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute

National Child Traumatic Stress Network

Supportive Counselling

• Check your health benefits. Most Health Benefits cover counselling when provided by a psychologist.
• Psychologists do not require a referral from your doctor. You could look for a trauma informed psychologist in your area. Psychologist’s Association of Alberta Referral or Psychology Today – find a therapist
• Family Physcians in Alberta are often affilated with a Primary Care Network (PCN). PCNs often have psychologists or social workers attached that may be able to offer a few sessions of supportive counselling via the referral from you doctor.
• Many communities in Alberta have non-profit community agencies that provide counselling. Some of these agencies may include Family and Community Support Services, Catholic Social Services.
• Residents of Alberta have access to counselling through Alberta Health Services – Mental Health and Addictions. They provide services to people with moderate to severe mental health struggles. If they can not help you, they can possibly refer you to other agencies.
• Your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). These resources are often underutilized and it is common for them to be able to provide counselling to all members of the employees family.

McKinney Psychology Can Help

McKinney Psychology provides trauma informed counselling and psychological services.

There is no criteria to meet in order to access the services and there are a variety of counselling professionals available to assist you. We also have Low cost options are available.

Indigenous Peoples can access Counselling Services that is free to them, covered by Non-Insured Health Benefits (NIHB). You can access this service in person, on the phone or by video. McKinney Psychology offers this service to anyone in Alberta. If you are outside of Alberta you can contact your regional Indigenous Services Canada (ISC) / NIHB office to inquire about mental health providers in your area.

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